“When people fight, lots of things are said.
Past hurts. Fears. Projections.
As both people become more + more emotionally activated, the ego steps in. That’s when the laundry list of the other persons “offenses” start coming.
Now, the ego must prove it’s case.
That’s when 2 people are no longer speaking to each other.
Both people have left their body.
Both are completely consumed with their core wounding: not being seen or heard as children.
You might even see how physically two adults become children: smirking, sulking, throwing things, giving the silent treatment, imitating the other, throwing in statements to intentionally trigger the other.
True communication can only happen when two people are in their bodies. When there’s curiosity + vulnerability “why do you feel that way?” “What is on your heart?” “Can you tell me more about that?” “Do you want me to just listen?” “How can I help make this better?” “How can I help support you?”
This takes practice because the pull to immediately act on our own is a habitual pattern.
True communication can only happen when we learn to witness our emotions, breathe through our internal discomfort, + begin to honor our inner child who’s still wounded from the spiritual trauma of not being seen or heard.”