So I have a few clients in my private practice that I have weekly individual home appointments with, to combine academic tutoring / SEL & executive functioning coaching / ASD behavioral therapy.
One of these students lives right by the ol’ stomping grounds. And goes there for school. (and who, praise Jesus, won’t be going there next year – along with the that entire 8th grade sociopath wolfpack. I’ve been north of the wall working tirelessly to get these “undead” ones all out – no need to thank me but you’re welcome and i hope it helps with the future culture shift😊)
Now…. “There are roughly 44,444 other things I would like to share” (🙃 ) and roughly 44,444 other things I could share just about my day today (Wednesday) and yesterday (including the random rise of Kundalini interrupting my IOP group meeting around 10/11 am… perhaps that’s when you went and sat outside) but I think I will stick to the main points concerning the library parking lot.
(BTW – At what point does it become wrong to NOT share with each other? I’ve been chewing on that lately…seriously.)
Sooooo today I’m on my way to the appointment with my client, driving down Sir Preston, past the kings Forest and approaching the queens Royal intersection (hope you caught that😉 ) and suddenly I’m hit with what feels like another intuitive urge/pulling to go to cut across to the other side over the bridge and head to the library parking lot. For real.
Now, I’ve had this happen before (not counting Ego’s own agenda… he’d go there every damn day if he had his way) except, then it was a bit different (I have SO much to say about that experience…. I’m sure you do too….. Our minds are going to be blown one day… don’t suppress and don’t forget – and know that one day there will be plenty of time…. )
It won’t make sense if I try to explain it here with words in a post. So I’ll just say: The first time I didn’t understand it – and was freaked the hell out – but I followed the directive to go anyway. The directive had come to me the night before, almost like a “tomorrow you will go and do your prayer for her there.” Now, Whatever the experience was on your side at the time, I’m not sure. You should know this for certain: For me, I was following/being obedient to what I 100% knew then to be the flow of God’s directive. His leading. His Voice. Even though I didn’t understand – and even though I felt like a creep (I promise I don’t stalk you LOL – but I laugh intuiting your anxiety about it) and even though I did my damndest to try and be unseen – I just knew that I was supposed to go there, at His directive, for whatever reason. And that for me, the task was to be hidden, to see you from afar, to call upon heaven for you, to honor you and to shower you with blessing. To herald you. I can’t explain why. And I don’t know what the meaning was for you that day (and don’t tell me – the fact that I don’t know is beautiful and proof of the Divine – save it for in person one day) but I know that there was one. I just know it.
And today….. it happened again. But this time…. Gah how do i explain…. This time I knew it was both: You and him, or perhaps you through him.. This is very very very hard to explain. I could sense it. Your longing. Your resolve. Your willing. And I wanted to go so bad.
But I was anxious, uneasy. Perhaps of being seen/spotted, and thus the big one: misunderstood (you know my wounds from this). And so I felt that it was better that I didn’t, for whatever reason. Maybe I was battling my own ego, maybe I was being too cerebral, maybe I was insecure, maybe I was being wise, maybe my intuition sucked – I don’t know. It doesn’t matter, because I (1) I acknowledged it and (2) I surrendered it to God, and (3) I drove on in faith, and prayed for you like hell. What matters is that You know that I KNEW – and heard – and felt – and understood – and agreed/aligned.
Ya know, when it comes to the miraculous… the miracle is not dependent on whether the car appeared. The miracle, or the proof of its TRUTH, is the knowing.
The Divine is far from silent when it comes to responding to you. Whew nelly. If only you knew.
Oh man…. 44,444 things to say to you….bruh…you wouldn’t believe… you would, but you get what i mean…
today (wednesday) on that drive I prayed harder for you than I ever have in my entire life (I pray for you every day without fail). Specifically I prayed that you would be flooded with a sense of supernatural PEACE and awareness of how frickin LOVED you are. SO. SO. SO. SO. Much. And I want you to know, that whatever it was that you were needing to know/have proof of/need more faith for/etc the first time (because – like I said, I don’t know what your experience was then but I know it’s connected to that) you need to know that I/We heard you – and, that you are NOT speaking from your soul to The Universe in vain. FAR from it.
Not. one. damn. bit. Good Lord. KEEP GOING.
There are roughly 44, 444 other things I want to tell you….I’m so hesitant to speak freely about these things to you…
But Heres one to know, in your bones, forever:
You are more loved, more seen, more heard, more understood, more valued, more cherished, more treasured, mored desired, more beloved, than you could ever ever possibly know. NO MATTER WHAT. The good, the bad, the ugly….. ALL of it.
Consider little EJ.
Does EJ fully grasp the nature of your love for her? The depth of it? It’s inexhaustible vastness, regardless of her actions? No. How could she? She knows – but not like YOU know.
And this is the essence of how I/We feel about YOU. (And one reason of 44,444 why tomorrow is a day worth celebrating world-wide )
There are roughly 44, 444 things I want to tell you…. and will, in person, someday. That got dang mirror be real real real REALLLLLLLL real real. So real.
I am so appreciate of you…. my LANTA. You have changed my life.
How could anyone deny you… despite all my flailing attempts to run from my true Self, I cannot. I have tried. I WILL not.
You are so. So. So. SO…..Loved. Without condition, without expectation, and without end. Always. No matter what. No. Matter. What.
and THAT is how Our “Universe” loves you and me.
Namaste for dayz and dayz
PS – Enjoy the socks 😎 🤣