For real communication to happen, all projections need to cease. Two people cannot see each other clearly and find common ground if both are thinking and speaking through dense clouds of emotion. So many relationships and friendships break because we do not have the tools and emotional maturity to see beyond our defensive reactions. When we notice our own defensiveness, pause, and come into a clear thinking space, we have the opportunity for real conflict resolution. Without Vulnerability, patience, and self-awareness on both sides, there cannot be reconciliation.
Without listening, honesty, and a safe place for safe vulnerability, there is no communication. When we intentionally elevate the level of communication, the focus switches from telling someone how we believe they are, to clearly explaining our own perspective and how we feel. We can certainly share ways to better support each other, but first we need to accept each other‘s truth and move on from there. The support we ask for cannot be coercive; our partner needs to voluntarily commit to it for the union to be healthy.
– Yung Pueblo, Clarity & Connection