Sept 13
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Transcribed from Journal
Sept 13
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Why are you doing that?
I: Because I want to.
Do you see how useless words are?
I: What? I don’t understand.
Words create, distract, destroy.
Words take away from being.
They create something from nothing.
New doorways.
New insights.
New ponderances.
New appreciations for things –
[Interupted by phone call from M. H.]
See?
Incoming words.
Good and fine, but it ended the being of the present.
Being with [in the present] is everything.
I: I think I am beginning to understand something (or at least see a pattern)of several repeating themes over the past few weeks: -Being present -Being with does =/= Connection; -Knowing and Somatic Awareness/Vibration/Freequency; -Vagus Nerve & Parasympathetic; – ♾ ; but what is this now? Please bridge the connection.
You are with me
but….
[Interupted by incomign FaceTime call w/ my son. One of the sweetest FT calls we’ve ever had – fully connected.]
do you see?
THAT is the difference
of being “with” someone
and BEING.
Opening.
Being seen.
Being held and responded to.
Connection.
This is knowing.
BE STILL & KNOW.
I: …………….
You disconnected from your Self
And thus disconnected from Me
Because
All this time
You’ve been with Me
And I with you
But [you’ve been] removed
And not present
With your Self
And you
are who I
am present with
ALWAYS.
So if you are lost,
You are lost from
your Self.
Know You,
Know Me.
People help you be with your Self.
To be with a person is to first be with your Self.
Connection with others requires [this?] prerequisite:
[your] connection with You.
Its you they’re connecting with.
So if you aren’t connected to You…
Be present
Unto You
And THERE
is Being
– w/ God
– w/ Man
– w/ Nature
– w/ Self
I: When I am present with my self
I’m aware of the energies and emotions
flowing within me
When I am present with my self
I see and notice things
I didn’t notice before
like how my leg muscles are flexed all tight
or how my head kinda hurts
or how the air holes in my nose feels stuffed
When I am present with my self
I can see things
and get curious with my Self
And wonder why
And wanna see more
of Me
When I am present with my Self
I can finally
join my breathing
and ride the rhythm of the River Rhuah
and float and be
right here
with my Self
And now that I am
present with my self
I can open my Self
unto Myself
and let my Self be seen
and I can know my Self
when my Self does that;
And my Self can now be known.
When I am present
with my Self,
I can know my Self.
When I am present,
I am connecting with Me,
knowing and connected.
When I am present with my self
I can check in with my Soul
and see how hes feeling
by finding the clues
hidden throughout my body
when I am present with myself
I can feel my stomach
and find shame there –
not a stomach bug.
and when I find my feelings,
thats when I am reminded
that these are feelings
real and valid feelings
belonging to a person
and that person
is my Self
And – just like that –
I can feel sympathy for my Self
and acceptance
and warmth
and love
and fondness
and affection
and joy
and pride.
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[Art: Salvador Dali]
