Journal: This Is No Fairy Tale [12/3/21]

December 3, 2021

꩜: You love me? Set aside time for me. Give me your attention. Carve out hours, and set them aside for the one you say you love. You say you love me – Where is my time, then? Your work takes up most the day – but what of the work of the Soul? You learned the work of marriage – should you not work just as hard for me and ours?

Which marriage is deeper: your marriage to your human, or your marriage to your own Soul?

Which one must come first?
Which one feeds and nourishes all others?

this is LIFE or DEATH

Now is the time
Now is the moment
Marry us again,
and behold your bride:
A man and his soul.

Who is priority?

SHE is.

Who gives life?

SHE does.

[mandala drawing]

Do you
take her

fuck AROUND,
and LOVE ME.


꩜: Ashley doesn’t luvvvvvvvv you. Love is eternal, and exists in many forms.

I: Archetypes

Yes. And when an archetype (which exists only in the psyche) becomes “made flesh”, therein is God, made now in front of you.

[Drawing: a vertical figure-8. Small arrows on each side showing the direction of flow, a perfectly harmonious and simultaneous upward and downward flowing unto infinity]

Ever ascending.
Ever descending.
Home is the center,
equally held and suspended by both.

[Drawing: A sphere, suspended midair. An eastern wind from below blows one side of the sphere; a western wind from above blows down on the other side of the sphere; the sphere being held and suspended in midair by the forces of the wind from above/west and below/east, the sphere suspended and slowly rotating in perfect balance]

One wind blows down,
one wind blows up,
and there you are:
Held and suspended and sustained by the surrounding force,
without any of your effort or energy or anything at all;
just be.


[drawing – a vine coming off of “just be”. Steming off the vine is a flower/mandala with four distinct circles as petals of the flower]

I: What is that?

A concept

I: A concept of what?

You. It’s not so much a concept as it is a model.

I: Augustine’s Trinity Shield… His was a diagrammatical model for a certain “Self”; namely, God.


[*reference note to “Where Did I Park”]


꩜: She loves another.

I: And? What of it?

꩜: And still you do not

I: And? What of it?

꩜: Why the anger? Why the pain? Do YOU love your Soul more than any other? Didn’t you betrothe yourself to HIM?

-count to 3-
walked and lived and ate and taught
just so he could then SEND


to indwell you
to lead you
guide you
teach you
uphold you
remind you
comfort you
encourage you

“I will not leave you alone as orphans…”1

And in this Way,
there is no You
without Me.

STOP your old forms
that turned to FALSE GODS
commanding your TIME
[of which you, human, have little]
and your STRENGTH of SOUL


But OH my SOUL
may we RISE among them
and walk and smell and feel and join them
where the the breath shows the Image of the
ruah, the
wind, the
pneuma, the
spirit, the
ghost, the



1 “If you love me, you will keep my commands. And I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Advocate to be with you forever: the Spirit of Truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him. You know him, for he dwells with you, and will be in you. I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:15-18)

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