When we do shadow work, we begin to see the toxic, dysfunctional, + very painful parts within ALL of us.
It’s not fun. And it’s definitely not easy.
Some of us hide from our shadow. We adopt the identity as the empath to avoid understanding we too have toxic traits.
We have wounded parts of ourselves that are looking to be loved + witnessed.
Narcissism exists on a spectrum. Depending on the level of childhood trauma, there is a disconnection from the self. This creates a wounded, overactive ego. An ego that seeks worth through other people. An ego that becomes controlling, entitled, + sometimes highly abusive. All to cope with the low sense of self worth + the inability to cope with life.
For most of us, the first narcissist we met was a parent figure.
A person highly consumed with their own feelings, their own sense of reality, + their own needs. This left us deeply hurt + wounded. And, it gave us a dysfunctional sense of what relationships look like. Boundary violations, emotional neglect, shaming, + harsh punishment looked like love. Some of us adopted these traits unconsciously in an attempt to feel close to that parent figure. Some of us unconsciously adopted these traits to survive the childhood environment we found ourselves in.
It’s helpful to learn what healthy relationships looks like. What abuse looks like. What boundaries look like— most of us start out with dysfunctional foundations.
As we heal + mature emotionally, we can learn to accept the wounded parts of us that we abandoned a long time ago. The entitled parts of us. The selfish parts of us. The rage-filled parts of us. The controlling parts of us.
As we dive into the shadow, we also see the light. The compassionate parts of us. The loving parts of us. The open parts of us. The parts of us that are our true nature (our authentic self.)
To be human is to have a wide variety of traits. Some of those traits we accept, some of them the ego works tirelessly to deny (+ then goes on to project onto others). True self acceptance is seeing ALL parts of self + saying “I love that part, too.”
The more we own our OWN toxic traits, the more emotionally healthy we become #selfhealers
~ Dr. Nicole LePera, “The Wholistic Psychologist”