5/10/22
hey buuuuuudy
so- add “drive-by’s” to The List.
(Also add “We need to create The List again… for real and for our psyche’s sake” to The List. See, I’m of a deeply-persuaded-perspective that it was child-like-intuition at its finest, working freely and fearlessly in us (you could even something like “faith”, or, even better and far more accurate: “magic”) setting a pattern for us ~ and I truly believe that with all my heart ~ we’ve [eventually] got work to do 😉 🙏🏼 beautiful, legitimate, purposeful, intentional work to do that starts with the self and works towards the other in order to bring that newly created thing into the “world” – and this indeed we truly are doing, and have been doing.
Now: Twice I’ve driven past lady liberty’s lagoonish lane.
Twice.
I dont say that confessionally or apologetically or proudly or even fondly.
Just sayin’ it.
And, I really want to emphsize this, these were the most inconspicuous times/situations possible – and I went sorta kicking and screaming. Just know I have ZEERROOOO desire of causing drama / stalkery behavior)
(here’s lookin at you)
The first time was several months way, wayyyyyyy back, maybe even almost a year, and BOY OH BOOOOY is there a backstory and afterstory with that one (and I’m not even referring here to the part about Diane [yes, Diane…])
The second time was more recent than that. Much, much more. BUT – I will say that it was on a Friday around sundown on my way to a place juuuuuuust north of you (well, Celina is still a bit of a drive, but still) and I was driving past-ish the woods, on a sudden soul-assignment of sorts, hoping/assuming I was to catch a glimpse of a certain biker through the trees… 🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️🤷🏻♂️ but nothing…. just paved roads and a dirt mound with grass growing on it…
PS – hrs later, I get an out of the blue txt from PP 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Now, both of these “drive-by” times are nuts-but-true stories of their own, deserving to be told/heard another time. (Hence the list )
BUT…. one detail to elaborate on in the meantime
Get this: GET THIS: Both times, both timeDiane was standing outside, in/near the street having just exited her car, with a bundle-of-whatever in her arms and carrying it into the house. AAAAND: – BOTH TIMES – she literally stopped, turned around, and looked me right in the fucking eyes as I drove by (I don’t think she knew it was me – the second time, that is. I had a different car by then. Er, now ) The first time was so goddamn obvious 🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️ And I was so, so SOOO pissed, because (1) it was 5/6am, literally – and the safest time for a drive-by that I didn’t necessarily want to be on in the first place and (2) it took so. so SOOO much surrender to do it when I did it the first time. And, when I did it, and freakin DIANEEEEEE was just standing there in the street – i mean at 6am, holding bags and turning and staring at me as I drove by – dude it had me SO upset for following my intuition/God/Self/[insert-preferred-word-here] that it made me not want to follow my intuition anymore at all. Like, at ALL. For a while. (it was just too wounding, too REAL)….. and that kind of self-denail was really dumb for me to do to myself.
(I’m still paying for it)
I’d like to make it clear that drive-by’s aren’t a thing and I fucking hate (and love) that I saw Diane both times.
Ooooook thats all for now.
feels good to dump that one out.
kinda relieves pressures in places i didnt know existed.
love and light
miss u and g-nite
