5/21/22
After months of being extremely bothered by the non-existence of The List (and having self-monitored this inner conflict and finally understood for myself the significance of mutual sharing in BOTH of our lives ~ and that for saving intuitive insights from the death of suppression and overcoming the ego when faced with inexplicable urgers to share, not fully understanding how or why its disclosure/discussion is significant and perhaps even vital (but KNOWING that it IS, for many reasons and for many forms) for one of us, or even both of us, and perhaps not meant to be immediately understood/interpreted but bound to contain a hidden meaningful meaning for later – this INDEED is part of the pattern….)
So I decided to make one.
Because it is right. And needed
Now, it’s quite one-sided, of course. (Ball is in YOUR court, on that one ~ You have quite a predicament if you’re going to choose to live honestly in according to your fullest truth and I don’t envy you for it one bit.)
Regardless, I decided weeks ago to make a weekly list, in order to quickly caputure the things I need, or just WANT, to share with you, as they come, and when they come, just like we did ~
Because it’s right, and because its important ~ I KNOW this ~ even if only for myself.
So says I.
*NOTE: I’m leaving off a shit ton of stuff. The danger here for you is reading only what I post and thinking you have the full picture. I can assure you… you do not (and vice-versa for me, too). If I told you every significant thing that happened to me in a single week (even just the ones that somehow involve YOUR ass and soul) I’d have to quit my life and become a full-time writer.
And that would just be…. crazy.
The List
March 15 – 22
- Wind and Water ~ geeeez that storm last night
- Mother, Tree, Moon, and u and me – Holy shit I have so much to share about what happened this week and its SO FUCKING important for both of us and our healing.
- Matrix Moment – You and me and a full merging and union against and upon the healing tree. under the moon. Gripping the bark. Your eyes. Good god. That. Happened.
- Sun and Moon – Next day. I wept because you were not there with me. Coming out of my field meditation and going into tai chi and LITERALLY, with the most BEAUTIFUL sunset, holding the sun in the palm of my right hand, arm lowered, and holding the moon in my left palm, arm raised, body crouched like a tiger holding them both and moving like a shirtless savage under the most gorgeous sunset the day before the lunar eclipse….. DUDE. Listen. Remind me of this story in the future. (But…. you’ll have to find it…. in my body…😉)
- Storm last night – so many stories. So cool. I was sitting in a huge field, with my medicine bundle all spread out, donning all my sacred shit and friggin’ shirtless, shoeless, and shamanizing like a wild man. I could write a novel about last night.
- The next day, 2 flowers in the field… in the SAME. EXACT. SPOT. where my, uh, “seed had hit the ground from the night before. #List5
- Your mummy sex fantasies. Lolllll soooooo many things to say
- Pushing My Buttons – As you’re becoming all transparent and whatnot in your life ~ never forget that there’s another who loves you and who, even when we were friends, still yet doesn’t know shit about you, because years later you still haven’t told him your “full truth” and (for many understandable reasons) run and hide from him on purpose. (Thats ok, keep running ~ I am coming for you…. hot hot hot on your heels 😈)
- Costco – I cannot tell you how close I was to not posting that. Allll of my intuition was telling me, shouting at me – that you NEEDED to see it. BUT AJ – THIS HAPPENS ALLL THEEE TIMEEE – if you think THAT was a big deal ~ geeeeez I dont even know what to say other than (1) its DAMAGING for our path and our psyches not to share, (2) we should stop playing games and share ALLL because what’s happening in YOU (which I know NOTHING about) is me is meant for ME too, because what’s happening ME is meant for YOU, my too my love… and WE. Are MEANT. To HEAL. ToGETHer.
- AJ: Get your shit together ~ it is time for Luke to live.
- Luke: Get your shit together ~ it is time for AJ to live.
- Baccalaureate: 2 mummies walking.
- “No. Matter. What.”
